I Only Have One Rule

As many of you know, I, Barney Stinson have one and only one rule. So, I made a list of it for you!

I only have one rule -

Never date a girl with a hook for a hand.

Never go out with a chick whose last name ends in a vowel.

Never spell check.

Never meet a girl's parents.

Never pass up a free sample.

Never pet a chicken.

Never trust a dude with hair past his shoulders.

 Never trust a dude with hair ON his shoulders.

Never enter a wine bar. They only attract women over 30.

Never check a bag.

If it's yellow, flush it down too.

Never wear a brown belt with black shoes.

Never take a girl back to your place, especially if your place is the White House

Always wash your hands before returning to work.

Never leave home with less than three condoms in your wallet.

However old a girl says she is add 5 years. However much she says weighs add 5.

Never meet a girl for lunch.

Never repeat yourself.

Bang twice, dump once.

The longer the line, the better the food.

Never run without stretching.

Never wear a clip-on.

Never use an airplane lavatory.

Never order a “small” beer.

If you pay your taxes before a court mandates you do, you’ve paid too soon.

Black tie is never optional.

Ask yourself, “What would Ted do?” Then do the opposite. 

The only exception to any of these rules is if she is hot.