T'was the Night Before Christmas

T'was the night before christmas, and all through my house,
 not a creature was stirring, not even a cock-a-mouse.
 My suit jamas were on my body in case,
 some hot chicks would show to warm up at my place.

I was so comfy and snug in my bed,
While visions of breast were bouncing up and down in my head,
Then could it be I heard a knock at my door,
 I arose from my bed, this better be important I swore.

When I opened the door, there stood a hot babe,
Santa had come early, but I was afraid,
You see I had been bad all through the year,
Why would Santa finally show me his care?

Then I said screw it and invited her in,
I saw desire in her face when she gave me a grin.
She was cold and lonely on this Christmas eve,
She had heard of all the tricks I had up my sleeve.

Then why are you here I asked with a stare,
To that she replied I don't even care.
So we headed to my room with plenty of kisses,
So ends the tale of my night before Christmas!

What Does Barney Stinson Do?

So you wanna what I do for a living? Haha please, everyone knows what I do so I don't think it's worth talking about. I do however, have an awesome story from work! So I'm at GNB in my office bathroom, Wha Dup!, and can you guess what happened?  I get a call from Ted. Had to put the Leader of Russia on hold so I could see what my best bro wanted. Turns out there was another Cock-a-Mouse found in his apartment. So of course I had to rush over. Told the Russian leader I'd call him back. I get there and what do I find? One of Ted's stupid "Interventions." They think I've been working too hard lately and want to go get a scotch and play laser tag(Awesome). Of course they ask what exactly I've been working so hard on lately. My response? Haha...please lets go play some laser tag. I have the best friends, of course when they have a friend like me, it's hard to be around awesomeness. So they do have to work extra hard for me. It was the first time in a long time Ted played laser tag with me :').